


What are you thinking about?

by Otori0



Category: Paradox Live (Albums)
Genre: Confessions, First Kiss, M/M, i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22993636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otori0/pseuds/Otori0
Summary: Hajun is in love with Allen, but he doesn't want to put BAE in danger because of that.
Relationships: Yeon Hajun/Allen Sugasano
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	What are you thinking about?

"Hey, Allen?" Hajun said, looking to the horizon, his mind lost in thoughts as a soft breeze swayed his golden hair gently.  
"What is it?" Allen was pretty much the same. They were sitting next to each other, some centimeters apart. 

"...What are you thinking about?"

Allen frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?"  
"It's hard to know what you're feeling sometimes. You aren't as expressive as Anne."  
"Like you're to talk. You are always smiling and keeping everything to yourself..."

Hajun quietly laughed. "You're right." Then, he let his hand wander around the space between them and intertwined his fingers around Allen's hand. 

"We are going to win, right? We will win and I'll finally show my parents what I'm capable of." Allen murmured, insecure but also determined to do his best.  
"Yeah, we will."

Silence. They were both rather quiet people, so it was usually like that, and they didn't dislike it either.  
Hajun was thinking that it was surprising that Allen hadn't removed his hand, since Allen disliked physical contact, but he was glad. Maybe he was slowly getting his way into Allen's heart. 

* * * * *

Anne couldn't believe what was happening. Actually, the three of them were standing still, completely frozen. 

"We... won?" Anne spoke, reality hitting him as a smile formed in his lips. "We won!"

He shook Allen's shoulders in joy and ruffled Hajun's hair. "Come on you two, say something too! Leader!"

Allen looked at Anne with a puzzled look. "D-did we really...?" He couldn't even speak properly. He was way too shocked, in a good way. "We won... For real?"  
"Yeah, that's it!!"

When Hajun also processed what happened, an immense wave of joy ran through his chest as he showed his first real, honest smile and he hugged his friends tightly. "We did it!!!"

The moment had come. They won. They did it. Allen's parents would finally see how his hard work paid off, and Hajun's would see that he found what he wanted to be. As for Anne, that was much more than a victory. It was a start for the three of them, and they would never stop. This was just beginning. 

After properly thanking the fans and all the people who voted for them, Bae's members left and went to a more private place (meaning, Anne's house), to celebrate with drinks and cake. 

Hajun and Anne drank vigorously, but Allen was bad with alcohol, so he just had a sip from time to time while smiling. He still couldn't get rid of the fluttering happy feeling in his heart. It didn't feel even real, it was too good to be true. 

They partied all night, until the three of them fell asleep right in the sofa, not caring about catching a cold or waking up with soreness. 

Hajun slowly opened his eyes, still tired and sleepy but somehow awake. Everything was pitch black, so he guessed that it was still late.  
And he was right, since his phone showed that it was still 5 AM. 

He stetched and got up. It was rare for him to be the first one to wake up, but it wasn't a bad feeling. Seeing his best friends sleep was kinda funny, almost endearing. He slowly approached Allen and covered his body with a mattress so that he wouldn't get sick. 

He looked so cute and peaceful. Hajun caressed Allen's cheek, praying for him to stay asleep. "You did great." Hajun softly kissed his forehead, making the other boy move only a little in his sleep. "I love you."

* * * * *

Everyone congratulated the three of them for winning, and they were really happy too. The joy of victory was slowly making Hajun more and more aware of the situation. Even so, he didn't expect Anne to realize it, and even less to bring it up in such a blunt way. Well, that was how Anne was after all. 

"Hey, Hajun. You like Allen, right?"

Hajun almost spitted the water he was drinking and had to take it all down in one gulp to avoid that, which resulted to him coughing a little.  
"Excuse me, what?"

Anne smirked and crossed his arms. "Don't worry, you can tell me. It's pretty obvious."  
Hajun cursed him and his experienced ass. Literally. 

"Why are you keeping it a secret?" Anne asked, genuinely interested. This was about his best friends, and he wanted to help if he could. They were both much less used to going out with people that himself, so he believed that he could give them useful advice. 

"Before winning, I was planning on telling him at some point. But we won, so it's impossible now. I can't throw away all of his efforts and Bae." Hajun explained, his usual smile disappearing. 

"What are you saying? You're making it sound like we will disband if you go out."  
"But we probably would, right? I mean, I guess not necessarily, but 99% of the groups that was involved in romance ended up disbanding. I don't want that. Bae is more important than my feelings."

Anne sighed and looked away. He partially understood what Hajun meant and agreed with him, but he didn't think that it was the best option. They were definitely going to regret it in the future. 

"You should confess." Anne insisted.  
"Didn't you just hear what I said?" Hajun looked at him in the eye, their gazes meeting and Anne noticing a slight sadness in Hajun. 

Anne came closer to him and embraced him in a soft hug. "You were always lonely, Hajun. I know that. Allen is very similar to you, so please." Anne's voice broke a little. He was really worried about them. "Bae is important too, but your happiness is even more important. You shouldn't have any regrets."

Hajun stayed silent. It was really rare for Anne to act so seriously, and he was surprised.  
"...Is it really fine? Thanks to my family, I feel like I don't deserve anything besides from what I already have. I already have too much too, thanks to you two."

Anne smiled and patted his head. "Yes, it's fine. It's fine to be selfish when your heart wants to be."

That fully convinced Hajun. If Anne said that it was possible, it maybe was. Even if the probability of this going well was 1%, he would still bet for that 1% if that meant that he had the chance to be with Allen. 

"Okay, I'll tell him how I feel."  
"Good. I wish you luck."

* * * * *

He was determined to do this. He would do it. Hajun wasn't the type of person to go back on his word, and he would do as said. However, deciding it and actually doing it were two different things. 

Hajun didn't look like a dedicated and romantic person, but that was wrong, and he planned everything beforehand. They were together, alone in a beautiful scenery with dawn coming. It was perfect. He just had to say it. 

He stared at Allen's beautiful face for more than he intended to, and earned a confused look from the other boy. "Is there anything in my face?"  
Hajun chuckled and said, "No." while trying to sound as calm as usual. He was always so collected that this side of him was unknown to everyone. How would Allen react? Would he hate it? 

"...Allen." Hajun said, his voice steady but nervous at the same time.  
"What?" Allen looked at him and suddenly felt lips connecting with his. He forgot how to breathe from the surprise and just stayed still as Hajun kissed him, softly and romantically. When he broke the kiss, he almost laughed at how shocked Allen looked. 

"...That was my first kiss." He muttered, and now Hajun was the surprised one.  
"Wait, seriously?"  
Allen nodded and Hajun felt overly happy about it, but didn't say anything. 

They were still close, and Allen's reaction didn't seem to be too bad so far. It was now or never.  
"Allen." He called him again, earning a hum of confirmation. "I love you."

Allen would be astonished, but after what happened, even for someone as dense as him it was pretty clear. He still couldn't understand how Hajun fell for him from all people, though.  
"...Will you go out with me?" The blonde boy asked. 

Allen didn't really know what to say. He wasn't used to this. However, Hajun looked so charming right now, and their kiss felt actually good. Lately he also got used to Hajun's affection too, even though he was still awkward with anybody else. 

"Earth to Suzaku~" Hajun smirked, teasing him, and Allen pouted a bit. "Is that a no or a yes?"  
Allen looked away, slightly flustered. Damn, why did it get him so much time to realize how pretty and handsome Hajun was? "...It's a yes."

Hajun smiled fondly, happy from the bottom of his heart. He never imagined that something like this could happen. He would have to thank Anne later. 

"...Then, can I kiss you one more time? And is it fine to be a little rougher?" Hajun whispered.  
"...Your sadistic side is coming out." Allen stepped back. "I don't really like pain."  
Hajun chuckled. "I was kidding, I don't wanna hurt you either. Not for now at least."

He again approached Allen. "Can I kiss you?"  
Allen nodded, wanting to experience that feeling that felt like floating above the clouds once more. Their lips met again in a longer and deeper kiss. 

"God, I can't believe how hard I fell for him." Hajun thought to himself. "And to think that he likes me back." He wrapped Allen's smaller body in an embrace, pulling him closer. "Is this a dream? Is it really safe for me to be this happy? For someone like me...?"

Allen looked at him with a smile, cheeks slightly red and eyes sparkling. 

"...Well, I guess that it doesn't matter right now."

**Author's Note:**

> This was short and crappy but I was in a HajuLen need so take it, also this could get a sequel if I feel like it


End file.
